There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i've created a new STD.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
