just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
