hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
