if you like me you must not know who I am
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
