Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
