between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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