i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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