why didn't you poke me back
I wish my penis had an off switch
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
