yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize