sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
