I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
PS: I just woke up from my shower
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
