I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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