I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
