You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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