I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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