i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
