Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
