my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
