Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
