When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
