i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
