I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize