Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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