I got chris browned last night
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
