My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
