About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
