Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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