we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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