At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
