Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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