I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
