forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I met the friendliest cop last night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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