Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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