She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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