apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
