I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize