omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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