did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i think my cat just said my name.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
