Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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