Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
