Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
