Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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