were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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