i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
