Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
