Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
