They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize