He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
