hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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