dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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