if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
