absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
