She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
