Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
