he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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