Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
