I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
