you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize