You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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