why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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