I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
its liver damage thursday
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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