3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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