respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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