I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
