someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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