U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I cut my penus on the lid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
