I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
