Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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