Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
