you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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