He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
