Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
