He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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