addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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