yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize