I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
